


Return to Sender

by celeste9



Category: Primeval
Genre: Companionable Snark, Established Relationship, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-26
Updated: 2012-07-26
Packaged: 2017-11-10 19:38:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/469921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celeste9/pseuds/celeste9
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An unfortunate piece of mail arrives at the flat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Return to Sender

**Author's Note:**

> Can be considered part of the Promise 'verse or not, it's just a bit of silly fun.

“What the fuck is this?”

James glanced up to see an envelope dangling from Becker’s fingers like a dirty tissue, his expression hovering between rage and revulsion. “A piece of mail?”

Becker tossed it into James’ lap and said between clenched teeth, “Look at it.”

Frowning, James peered at the address. That couldn’t… Oh, dear. No wonder Becker was upset. It was addressed to a ‘Mrs Hilary Lester’. James started chuckling.

“Oh, you would find it funny.” Becker flopped down lengthwise onto the couch, his feet in James’ lap and his head against the armrest. He flung an arm over his eyes, bringing to mind a lady flouncing dramatically onto a fainting couch. “I suppose it was too much to hope for some sympathy.”

“You should know better than to expect that,” James said, briefly squeezing Becker’s ankles. “You know, this will make a wonderful story, I’m sure--”

Becker dug his heels into James’ thigh, dangerously close to parts of James’ anatomy that he would rather not have come into contact with Becker’s feet. “You wouldn’t dare.”

James carefully shifted Becker’s feet. “Wouldn’t I?”

With a long-suffering sigh, Becker said, “I’ll go with you to that bloody opera you’ve been blathering on about.”

James smiled and patted Becker’s knee. “That’s so kind of you. What did I do to earn such a thoughtful partner?”

“I ask myself that every day,” Becker muttered.

“Really, though, Hils, aren’t you the slightest bit amused?”

“I most certainly am not.”

“It was a simple misunderstanding. I would have thought you’d have more of a sense of humour about it.” A tiny bit of humour, at least. Just a smidge.

James could sense Becker glaring even through the arm that still covered his eyes. “Not only do they think I’m a woman, they think I’m your _wife.”_

“I did arrive at that conclusion myself, actually.”

“I’m not the wife in this relationship!”

“Of course not, darling. Perhaps if you keep telling yourself that, one day you’ll believe it.”

With feline grace and speed, Becker raised himself up from the couch and straddled James’ thighs. “I’m Special Forces; I served in Afghanistan. I know more ways to kill a man than you know insults.”

James held Becker’s fierce gaze and said indulgently, “Yes, you’re very frightening, pet. Incredibly manly.”

Becker dropped his head against James’ neck. “I hate you.”

“I know, precious,” James said and rubbed Becker’s back.

**_End_ **

**Author's Note:**

> Written for annabelle43's prompt: Becker and Lester are together and Becker gets mail addressed to Mrs Hilary Lester.


End file.
